I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
