There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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