I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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