the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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