dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
