Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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