..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
