Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
