And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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