my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
