Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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