A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
