OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
