The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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