You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
