i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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