I wish I only lived at night.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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