she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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