We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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