i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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