yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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