There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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