Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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