how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
