I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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