Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
