3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize