Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
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