I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
