May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
