Just mADE A PArabola og urine
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
