At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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