No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
