We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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