I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
God I need to hump something, right now.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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