A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
