Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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