Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
