We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
