Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
i need some magic done to my vagina
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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