i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
