I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
If I die, sorry about rent.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
