found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
A bitchslap is in order.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
