We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
