doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
