What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
