i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
