I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
