Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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