Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
