You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
