found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
