i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
