defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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