sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
