NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
