it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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